A New Leg and a Beard Trim

Two days ago we went to Nashville for an appointment with my prosthetist.  I received my first leg, a training leg, and walked on it for the first time.  There's still a long way to go due to a lot of muscle weakness and a minimal range of motion in my knee, but this is a big step in the right direction.  Here's the video I took yesterday:

I finally realized the root cause of my apprehension leading into this appointment.  When I saw the leg for the first time it hit me: It feels real now.  Up until this point it has still felt like I would wake up and all of this would have been just a terrible dream.  Now it's very real to me.

Yesterday I wore my leg and went for a walk outside.  It wasn't very far, maybe 100 feet each way, but it felt good and didn't leave me as tired as it has before I got the prosthesis.  Walking is much easier now, though my pace has become rather snail-like.

Before

Other news is that my goal has been met.  I did not trim my beard until I received and walked on a new leg.

After

Now the beard is trimmed, and I feel ready heading into new adventures with a new leg.  My first new adventure was walking up the stairs, and I successfully completed it last night!

Thoughts and Such

We're currently on our way to Nashville for an appointment that has been a long time coming.  Today is the day I finally get my new leg.

It's quite the emotional day for me, and this week has been a roller coaster of emotions.  I've been waiting so long for this day that I'm worried about disappointing myself.

I've had thoughts and dreams about this day. I've pictured putting the leg on and walking immediately, not having any learning curve with my new leg.

I've also been feeling broken. Everything is so difficult.  Just rolling over in bed takes an effort it never has before.  Before my accident I had achieved a point where I felt confident, I felt like I could do anything. Honestly, I felt invincible.

At the same time though, I had no idea what direction life was leading me in.  I was set to graduate next month, and I had no idea what was going to come next. All I had was a hope that it would work out. 

A wrench was definitely thrown in my plans. I had a plan for at least the next few months, but God had a different plan for me.

My pastor and I have been doing a study on suffering.  I still don't know why this happened to me, and I probably never will.  The comforting fact in all of this though is that there is a why, there is a reason for all that has happened.  It's still hard, it's still difficult to deal with and quite overwhelming at times. That will still take a lot of work, but maybe today will be a step in the right direction.  Maybe today I'll start to feel whole again, maybe I won't feel quite so broken.

I still hold no anger towards anyone. There's no reason for that. I made peace on that front easily early on.  I'm battling inner demons now.  I feel like today will be a turning point in the battle.

Big Updates!

Yesterday started off pretty rough (some days are much better than others), but by the end things were going much more smoothly.

I had an appointment at the prosthetist's office and I was hoping for good news.  I used a walker to walk from the car to the elevator and into their office.  My goal was to get cast for my socket and my goal was met!

So now we've cast my leg and they will be creating the socket and building the prosthesis over the next week.  I have another appointment next Wednesday (4/9/2013) to try out the socket and prosthesis (at least, this is my understanding of what will happen).

Things are not going to change too drastically for now though.  Due to the fragility of my skin grafts, I'll have to follow a very regimented schedule of wearing my prosthesis.  For now, I'll only be allowed to wear it for 15 minutes in the morning and another 15 in the afternoon.

In other news, there is a team at Vanderbilt that has designed a powered ankle for below knee amputees and they need someone to test it that hasn't worn a prosthesis before.  My prosthetist told them about me and I'll be meeting the team next week at my appointment and we'll determine whether or not I'll be able to help with the research.  I  am a little excited to get to try something like this out.

Be on the lookout for videos next week!